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When I hear people expressing their sadness about how they don't have a life partner...I hear what's missing ... I understand, and reassure them that they are not alone. More importantly, however, I suggest that they look at stepping up the venues for meeting someone.
Example: I have a 43-year-old client; never married; only one serious relationship in her life; a few Internet dates. This woman is BEAUTIFUL but couldn't either attract (?) a date or find someone who even remotely interested her. I told her to tell EVERYONE she came in contact with that she would like to meet someone wonderful.
At first she fought it ... She thought she should just be able to meet someone like "normal" people do; that it should happen "naturally"; that she'd meet someone when it was "meant to be"; and that telling others was embarrassing! She also said she HAD told everyone ... and I know she believed that when she said it. But I never buy into that. Until you've met THE ONE... you can NEVER tell enough people you want to meet someone special.
Essentially, I told her that she needed to get her TEAM working for her and she had to be the LEADER of that networking group. You have to call people, email, text, ask, tell, check back, and show up at gatherings over and over and over. Be friendly and chat people up, asking for their help. In turn, be willing to help others in their personal endeavors.
She finally got it together.
After pushing herself out of her shyness and her relatively quiet life, she got into socializing. She took responsibility for what she wanted by reaching out there to all kinds of people. She told the lady at her neighborhood dry cleaners, the nursing staff in her doctor's office, her peers at work, the people she met at the dog- grooming parlor, her vet, her friends at class reunions, ... and more. And after many introductions and many get togethers... She's met the guy she's crazy about. He sounds pretty wonderful.
BTW...where did she meet him? Through the friend of a friend of a friend from the pet grooming parlor. That's networking.
I could go on and on.
It happens. You can do it too.
We come together in relationships to be better than we can be alone. When you choose someone who is your equal...each of you superlative in your own unique ways that the other one isn't, you become smarter. Together you can write a better song, weave a stronger cloth, hone your perceptions, deepen your intellectual capacities, and spread a wider net to collect rubies of information.
When you choose a partner with this concept of equality and formidable talent as your standard, you have set out on the most inspired learning and loving curve you could ever devise.
And when you come together... exploring your rising arc of learning; discovering traits about each other, growing from your collective perspectives, there's never a better time than the present to eliminate pictures, objects, and even clothes that hold past memories of a former lover.
Destroy the symbols of things that sap your energy and hold you back from being in the present. Widen your scope...and make a space for your new--or about to be discovered -- love, by handling the litter of yesterday.
Come together...with yourself...so you can come together with someone else.